http://www.helenbrain.co.za/ Helen Brain : writer . speaker . storyteller. This is my blog. en-gb http://www.helenbrain.co.za/pics/helen.jpg http://www.helenbrain.co.za/ http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=418 I think that another factor in Luke's personality change when he was ill was that his head was poisoned with chemo, and then with morphine. He was always a bit fragile in terms of mental health, because of his anxiety disorder and depression. So much so that he was... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=417 When Luke was dying I blogged about how marriage is like playing a piano duet, and how glad I was that we had a chance to finish off our duet together, ending gently, together, at the same time. Leaving me to close the piano lid. Since then I've been thinking... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=416 My picture for the day. For those who are curious about how I produce them: I have horrible performance anxiety, plus my left brain is a rubbish drawer. My right brain, however, thinks drawing is the most fun in the world. So I keep my left brain occupied... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=415 Things are getting clearer in my head. The issues I've struggled over for the last 7 months are beginning to sink through the swirling sandy water and rest on the bottom of my mind. This is what I've realised: Luke didn't change. I'm the one that changed, and then... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=412 I am so hating therapy at the moment. It's just horrible. So damn hard. This week I changed position again, so now I lie on the couch facing away from him, so I can't see his face. And it just sucks. I can't charm him, make him laugh, try... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=411 I'm really sad about Steve de Gruchy, who is missing,presumed dead after a tubing accident in the Drakensberg. I keep thinking about his family, and how awful it must be to wait for him to be found, hoping that he'll be found alive, and having that hope slowly dashed bit... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=410 Last week I went to therapy, and instead of sitting on the sofa like a demure lady from Rondebosch, I did what my instinct was telling me to do, and lay on the couch, ala traditional therapy mode. It was extraordinary. I put aside my brain and found my... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=409 A picture for my friend, Lolly, who has run away to Pretoria to write her doctorate. I wish she would come home. http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=408 Today I have been drawing. So here, for your delight, and for those of you who aren't on FaceBook, are my latest crehashins. First up is Ethne, who doesn't quite get the concept of Role Models. Second you can see THe Muse, Prokrasta, who refuses to send... http://www.helenbrain.co.za/details.php?id= http://www.helenbrain.co.za/blog_view.php?id=407 So yesterday, pondering the great silence that followed my last blog posting, I was forced to come to my own conclusion. Next time, dear readers, do try not to be so tardy with your solutions to my dilemmas as it's awfully annoying... So this is what popped into...