| Chapter 21 Going to Oxford
29 April 09
So we came home two days early from honeymoon. Even then we couldn't holiday together. We drove each other crazy. He wanted to know first thing in the morning what my plans were for the day. An itinerary.
I wanted to drift around with the lute and the daisy tiaras,... |
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| Thinking about hope again.
25 April 09
I'm still struggling to understand what hope is.
Three months ago Luke was at death's door. I thought he would die by the end of February. He was so ill, in such terrible pain, so depressed by finding the cancer was back again, so upset to be permanently catheterised. I... |
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| Chapter 20 Going to Oxford
24 April 09
What a shock the honeymoon was. I hadn't taken anything to read except the Act of Marriage, by Tim and Beverley la Haye, a hymen-breaking guide for young Christian newlyweds.
I thought it would be just shagging shagging shagging all day and all night. Shagging and being Wonderfully Together. Looking... |
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| News news news
21 April 09
I hope you've all noticed the brilliant thingies my computer man, Mark Parsons has added to the site. There is now a link at the bottom of each blog so you can recommend it to your friends or social networking groups (i know you all have them).
I've got a stack... |
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| Chapter 19
18 April 09
Why do so many women fantasise about priests? Men too, probably.
Most clergy are not particularly attractive, - they're not like movie stars or talk show hosts. They aren't charismatic, many of them. Most are tired, concerned and a bit worn down.
So why are they sexy?
I can remember finding... |
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| A rant against fundamentalism
15 April 09
Some days it hits me very hard that I am going to be a widow. I look at Luke sitting on the sofa, sorting through our old photographs, and I think 'how can he be going? How can he possibly be leaving us soon?'
Even if he goes into remission, and... |
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| Chapter 18 The wedding preparations
12 April 09
The wedding preparations were all done by post. Luke found it impossible to express an opinion on any of the important matters like the colour of the flower girl dresses, where I should open a gift register, or the wording of the invitations. It was very frustrating.
My mother took... |
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| The next sad parting
11 April 09
It's very odd to think back on that year we spent apart, desperately in love, looking forward to our whole future together. I'm glad we've had 25 years.
But its hard to think that we will be parting again soon, and this time it will be forever. I remember how... |
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| Chapter 17 The sad parting.
08 April 09
We saw each other once more that year. He fetched me in September and took me to Durban for a week. Then it was time for him to leave for Oxford.
What a horrible goodbye, knowing we wouldn't see each other for 10 months.
My parents had a prior engagement,... |
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| What is hope?
06 April 09
2.15 pm
Good news at last! The tumour markers give different results - one is down by a third, the other is up by one point, which is basically stable. So the chemo is working. We are ECSTATIC.
Thanks for all the love and support and messages. We appreciate them so much.
8.00am
Last... |
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| We get engaged
05 April 09
I insisted we do it all the old fashioned way. He had to ask my father's permission. We met up in Cape Town in June, and went searching for a ring we could afford. We tried all the second hand shops in town. Finally we found a pawn shop and... |
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| Saturday April 4th.
04 April 09
On Monday morning we'll know if the chemo is working or not.
I'm unbearably anxious about it. I don't want to hope. I don't want to have to keep hoping, and having it dashed. I don't want to lose him.
But the pain is back. As soon as he stopped sleeping... |
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| Chapter 15. We fall in love again.
02 April 09
I'd never fallen out of love with him, try though I may.
The difference this time was that he was pursuing me. He took control. He knew what he wanted. It was wonderful to be in his arms again. I felt so safe, and he was shining with happiness. I'd never... |
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