| Chapter 14. I say
31 March 09
It took me all of two days to say yes, I wanted to go out with him again.
That Sunday was one I will never forget. It was so extraordinarily weird.
Luke was working in the parish of Bot River. It was the height of apartheid, and he lived and... |
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| Chapter 13. Is he unfaithful?
30 March 09
Yes, dear reader, you read it right. Was he unfaithful to me?
The plane landed. He was waiting, beaming, eyes shining, arms held wide at the airport. He swept me up in a big embrace, told me I was beautiful, was so flagrantly delighted to see me.
My heart melted. Gosh,... |
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| The foreign legion isn't so nice
28 March 09
Oh the Transkei was a horrid horrid place.
I was sent to a parish in the gramadoelas - a mission station with a rectory, a hospital, a trading store, a post office and 27 outstations. There was no TV, the phones hardly worked, the only contact with the outside world... |
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| How is Luke?
27 March 09
My dear husband is doing quite well. He has had four rounds of chemo now. He is tired and rests a lot, but his pain levels are right down.
After the horrible night of madness and hallucinations, they've cut down his meds. He was taking 8 codeine a day to... |
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| I join the foreign legion
26 March 09
All of fourth year I wondered what to do with my life. My mother wanted me to go overseas and study singing in London. She had her heart set on me being an oratorio and lieder singer.
But I was too scared to even move out of res. How could... |
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| I don't become a nun Chapter 10 (but its a close call)
24 March 09
Of course I am lying. I did wonder, having just read about Abelard and Heloise, if I should hie me to a convent. But my mother, who is both sensible and ambitious, told me not to be silly. 'You are such a warm person,' she said. 'You need to get... |
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| I become a nun: Chapter 9
23 March 09
There was only one thing for it. 'If I can't marry Luke, I'll have to marry Jesus,' I announced.
My family were thrilled.
'I prayed for this day,' my mother said, wiping the tears from her eyes with her horsehair penitentiary scapula dedicated to the purification of infidels.
'I'm the daddy... |
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| Thus breaks the obedient heart Chapter 8
21 March 09
I'd been raised a Catholic. I knew what it meant. That God had chosen him as a living sacrifice, to push aside all thoughts of worldly goods, honours and earthly loves, to push away the alluring covers of the marital bed and to take on the sackcloth robe.
Once... |
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| Luke Award
20 March 09
Luke received his award from the English Foundation on Wednesday night. It was a lovely evening, very low key and quiet, with 25 people present.
Rachelle Greeff held it at her house. He was being honoured for his translations of Eben Venter's 'My beautiful death' and 'Trencherman.' So the publishers... |
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| Chapter 7: Aluta continua
20 March 09
I loved Luke so desperately. I was so afraid of life after University. My mother was pressuring me into being a professional singer. I was too scared to even move out of res into digs. I had to get married. And now I'd found the man.
Our relationship became tenser.... |
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| Chapter 6: Tongues of Fire
18 March 09
And the spirit of the Lord came upon him, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the lips, and forty demons were expelled from his body, and he spoke in tongues of angels.
Only joking. He just spoke in tongues. And prayed aloud (in English), and knocked... |
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| A Match made in Purgatory Chapter 5
17 March 09
It was a match made in Kindergarten. We met the needs of each other's inner child.
I was desperate to be loved and admired and paid attention to. He was hungry to be loved and nurtured. We were each other's surrogate parents.
Of course, growing up in an academic family... |
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| A Match made in Purgatory Chapter 4
16 March 09
It was June 1981. We had been spending all our time together for three months. We loved each other. But we were too shy to say anything.
He came to Durban on holiday with me. His father and brothers and the new step mother went to Durban every year for the... |
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| How we met: Chapter Three
15 March 09
Getting Luke to declare his love for me was more complicated than it seemed. Firstly, he was socially phobic, and terrified of rejection. Secondly, he was totally inexperienced with girls, and thirdly, as a fundamentalist Christian, I had to take the submissive role and wait for him to make the... |
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| How we met: Chapter Two
12 March 09
Luke's room was like mine - teak door, cupboards and desk, a long sash window, a single bed and chair.
But his room was perfectly neat and the bed was made. A shabby Persian rug lay on the wooden floor, a large round wicker chair stood in one corner, and... |
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| No more crazy
12 March 09
Luke is back to normal. Thank the Lord. He is feeling kak, but he's not mad anymore. The chemo side affects are kicking in, but they mostly involve humungous farts from his bag - like naughty teenagers having a farting competition he gurgles, blasts and thunders his way through the... |
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| Going better
11 March 09
So Monday night I was in hell. Luke was completely stoned. He wandered around the whole night - he flooded the bathroom with boiling water, ate about 4 meals, talking to himself, hallucinating, he wandered out into the garden, fell asleep holding a cup of hot tea, and pulled my... |
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| How we met
11 March 09
So now I am going to tell you the story of my marriage.
In 1979 I went to the University of Cape Town to study singing. I met a girl called Iona, who lived in a different res. I lived in Tugwell, a hideous round modern building with rooms shaped like... |
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| home again
07 March 09
luke came home yesterday. The blockage cleared (hopefully) and the pain is under control. He's just got to be careful about what he eats. No more crayfish and wors.
He's very weak. Can barely walk around, shakes like a leaf. It's because he's been in bed for almost two weeks.... |
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| You know what I hate most?
07 March 09
You know what I hate most about cancer? The way it robs me of my friends.
The most unexpected people have arrived from the no man's land of friendship to be one hundred percent on our side.
And people we thought were dear friends have disappeared into no man's land.... |
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| 6 March
06 March 09
Luke may be coming home today. The surgeon thinks he had a partial blockage. He's been off solid food, and passing a lot of old food, and some stinky fish stuff that we think might be the crayfish and boerewors he ate last Friday at the braai.
He's off all... |
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| Nominate me...
06 March 09
All you fans out there, its time for the blog awards.If you like my blog and want to see me win a fabulous prize you can nominate me.
"Apart from the honour of being the best, the winner of the Best overall South African blog will win a purse of... |
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| Living with Cancer
04 March 09
That is the buzz phrase of the positive thinkers - not dying of cancer but living with cancer.
There is a lot of emphasis on being positive and living a full life with cancer. Some days it seems like so much kak to me.
Last night I watched 'The Linda... |
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| back in hospital
04 March 09
Poor old Luke. He started vomiting this afternoon, and he's still full of horrendous winds and gripes and some diarrhoea, so he's back in hospital. They suspect some sort of blockage.
It's great to have Pete and Suzan here to help. They are brilliant. |
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| Some days are just kak
03 March 09
Luke is taking strain - his tummy is sore and gripey, and his stoma gurgles and farts and shoots out shit and air, and he's very uncomfortable.
It's hard to see him in pain, just getting through each day. The oncologist has given him buscopan and hopefully it'll sort it... |
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