| Illness arrives as your enemy and leaves as your friend
26 December 08
Barry Wood said that to us this week. He is the Archbishop's chaplain, and came to do a pastoral visit.
I was bemused by this belief. How can cancer be our friend?
But thinking about it, I realised he is right.
When I look back to where we were a year... |
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| How to Fight on when you have no more fight.
22 December 08
How do you fight cancer? She is a fucking bitch who has invaded our lives like a fisherman turning a squid inside out.
This is how it happened.
On January 1 Luke woke up and thought to himself, I am going to be dead by the end of the year.... |
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| River of Wholeness
20 December 08
So I don't know anything about theology. I don't like the church en masse. I hate the corruption and ugliness that creeps in when people build monoliths that claim to represent and serve God.
But this is what I think.
I think - feel - believe - observe - that... |
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| Watering the Garden
18 December 08
So Luke is home. He's been watering the garden, and wandering around. His upper abdominal muscles have been cut through, and they hurt a lot, but he's in astonishingly good form.
It's nice to have him home. I'm looking after him. Last time the sicker he got the horribler I... |
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| Out of ICU
12 December 08
Luke will come out of ICU tomorrow morning. He's doing very well. The morphine is making him itch, so it's going now. Ah well, he's had a good three days of it.
He's been very tired and confused today, asking me the names of Dr Stapleton's pigs. Too much morphine.... |
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| HELL SOON
11 December 08
Dear Luke! What a lot of morphine he is getting. He is as stoned as St Stephen. So last night he says to me, laughing, "look at that card over there it says HELL SOON."
So I look and look, I can't see anything.
"Next to the balloon," he says. ... |
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| Celebration of Women
10 December 08
Women are just the best in a crisis. I am surrounded by wonderful warm compassionate sisters who hold up the sky with their walking sticks when it threatens to fall on me.
Yesterday was remarkable. Six hours of cooking, baking, rolling pastry, washing up, chatting, comforting, chopping and reassuring. ... |
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| He's in surgery now
09 December 08
Luke went into theatre at 8.00 this morning. I'm getting increasingly anxious. time for the urbanol.
the Mowbray ladies guild are here cooking with me. We've made a huge pot of Bolognaise sauce, cooked two chickens for pies, and are going to start oxtail and bacon and egg quiche. Unless... |
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| All is well
09 December 08
The anaesthetist just SMSsed me to say that the operation was a success, and that Luke is stable. The cancer hadn't spread and they got it all out.
I am so relieved. I'm off to see him now in ICU.
The ladies are gathered in the kitchen, filling pie cases.... |
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| I've been to see him
09 December 08
I went to see Luke at three. He was much more comfortable than he was last time, warm and relaxed and not being nursed upside down, which is horrible.
The anaesthetist was fabulous. She SMSsed me during the op, and spoke to me afterwards and explained everything slowly and carefully.... |
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| Oh lovely Wedgeview
06 December 08
Thursday Luke fell into the slough of despond. He insisted we go away for the night on Friday. I dreaded it, as he was so miserable its hard to keep going. I had a St Luke's Hospice auction voucher that had expired, so I emailed Wedgeview Country Hotel, outside Stellenbosch... |
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| I am the luckiest person in the world
02 December 08
Yesterday was a terrible terrible day. Luke had a CT scan of his lungs, and it showed up a growth. We were distraught. I cried and cried. He said he didn't think it was worth having the surgery.
Then in the afternoon the surgeon rang to say he'd looked at... |
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